A Dragon of Ash and Shadow

[Enishi]

OOC: Manji, I know what we discussed and my situation in this regard has not changed. I just had a little time and felt like writing this. I hope it fits what you had in mind

Once again, Enishi pondered. Though he had not planned it this way, it seemed more and more this conversation would give his new persona a solid reputation as "that slow-witted monk". Oh well, followers of Hitomi were always known more for their devotion than their cleverness.

There seemed to be an easy answer to the shugenja's questions. He could tell him that every man had the choice of his own path in life. That no one could bind and enslave a man that knew his place in the world, and that this place was for no one to decide. From the ring of Manji's voice, that kind of answers could play to his mood. But that solution was not without risk either.
On one side, Enishi was more and more convinced that there were several "voices", for lack of a better word, leading the conversation right now. He could not discern yet whether pleasing one could upset another. On the other side, he just could not be certain he would be able to give those lies a ring of truth. Once again, fooling someone as powerful as Tamori Manji was no small feat to begin with, and his changed nature could just as well raise that to legendary. Enishi was a skilled liar - in no small part because he had a gift for staying close to the truth.

"You will have to forgive me for answering your question with another question – it may be the worst habit I picked up in the mountains. I must say it has proved useful at times. On such serious matters, it helps me think aloud.
Instead of imagining what you just described, I will take the liberty of envisioning something quite different, perhaps even the opposite. Let us think of a ronin, perhaps a skilled duelist in its own right, wandering the land without a master in a quest of his own. He has no master, no path imposed upon him. He may as well have no family, come to think of it. His skill with the blade is so great that he has nothing to fear from others. Surely, that man carries no chains. Does he?
But let us think again. Such is that man's skill that he certainly learned with one of the greatest. From that sensei, he learned not only techniques, but surely he inherited a certain vision. That vision drives him. The quest he calls his is so only because he chose to make it so. Or rather, he chose not to reject it – and for good reason, for what would he have replaced it with? Like all of us, that man is chained to his own history. He can choose to live with it, or to refuse it, he can strive to live up to his past or to become greater than it, but he cannot ignore it.
Now, while we are at it, let us imagine for a second a man with no past. Perhaps he had a past, but something has changed in him and no one remembers this past. Perhaps he cannot even remember it himself. That man truly has no parents, no master, nothing to hold and chain him. Is that man free? Free to carve his own destiny for himself? Well, do you think he is? Does that man not live within the world, within the celestial order? Does this simple fact not bind him, perhaps in stronger chains that a family, a lord or a sensei? Can he really claim to make his own destiny outside of the rules of the Celestial order?
This sounds a lot like something only a maho tsukai will say. And most wrongly so, for maho tsukai are bound in darker chains than all others. Do they not relinquish their soul to the control of Jigoku after all? Surely their power is a chain in and of itself. Come to think of it, are not all forms of powers chains that bind us to others, to duties, to the past stories of others?
And now, let us imagine a man with absolutely no power upon the world, and thus no responsibility whatsoever. Would this man be able to carve any destiny for himself? Surely not. He is but a puppet of the winds that carry him. His chains are stronger than all others, for he could not break even the slightest of them.
Now, I may seem to have digressed a lot from your initial question and I apologize for that. That side trek of the mind has helped me with the following question, that I promised you in the beginning. Why should I complain about being chained and bound to others and their wills, when I cannot even fathom being free of chains and bindings?"

[Tamori Manji]

OOC: no problem Enishi and that was a very interesting post. This thread is now occurring in the past I think, roughly a month and a half before the end of CotSS. Also, as always, the italicized parts represent thoughts.

The fox listened to the monk's words attentively. Although he could clearly sense that Enishi was holding many things back, it was hard for Manji to pinpoint exactly what were those things and that intrigued him. This man has an interesting way of using the Void, you would do well to observe him and learn, a voice whispered into his mind, to which he replied, yes, I can feel what you mean. At first I thought it was Water, but it goes beyond what it can do. It is as if he kept himself constantly empty, devoid of shape, judgement or emotion, and because of that emptiness, he can recreate himself as needed, making it always difficult to interpret what his true intentions are. Yōko made a sound as if in agreement, the gift of Fire is that of consumption. Unlike other elements, it is alive independently of its wielder's will and its nature is to devour anything it touches. To use it, one simply needs to be like the Fire. Anger, despair, desire, hatred, love... it thrives on the strong emotions of both its wielder and its prey. But to temper its destructive power, to control it, one must also learn how to be like the Void. Manji nodded in agreement and, at the moment, it was difficult for Enishi to know if the Tamori was agreeing with him or with something else that he could not see.

There is no need to ask for forgiveness Enishi-san, the fox said in a calm tone, after all, we are both seekers, each in our own way. Manji paused for a moment and looked up to the night sky, as if he could see something in its distant blackness, not long ago, I've met a woman who told me that awareness, or Enlightenment as some would surely like to call it, is a dangerous thing that may destroy those who obtain it. She told me that, in order to see through darkness and illusion, I had to first close my physical eyes. I thought I had understood her at the time, but I see now that those words hold a deeper meaning. The young shugenja turned his eyes to the monk again, so, Enishi-san, please allow me to rephrase your question because, I believe, you've arrived at the heart of the matter. I think the proper wording for it would be: “how can one complain about being chained and bound to others and their will when one cannot even fathom what is being free of chains and bindings?”

That is not a simple question to answer though, the young shugenja said in a contemplative manner. How can we dream about something that we, apparently, don’t know? As I see it, the answer lies, ultimately, with awareness and action but it involves much more. Desire, determination, empathy, sacrifice… they are all parts of a bigger puzzle that may end up leading us to legitimate action, that is, one validated by awareness, or to an illusion of it, which would keep us trapped in saṃsāra. It is said that everything in life and death is, to one degree or another, connected. This idea is not merely an aphorism though. The ties that bind us all to one another rely deeply upon our individual decisions, on what we choose to accept and deny, and these decisions are the basis that shape both our interactions with one another, on a personal level, and the flow of history itself. If an individual develops the insight, the courage and the knowledge to recognize why it does what it does, where its decisions come from and what are their consequences upon the world, such an individual becomes able to consciously influence karma and vipāka. Only by constantly questioning oneself and one’s place in life can someone dream of an idea before it is born, only by constantly searching can someone find meaning and that meaning is, essentially, liberation of and from the self. This is why self-realization can only be achieved, not granted, and why it may unravel someone who attains it. One cannot know everything though, thus, humility becomes essential to sharpen one’s intuition and to free oneself from its own delusions.

Now I understand that my meeting with the Shadow Dragon was unavoidable. Not because it was “meant to be” as some would say, but because it was set in motion by a strong chain of events that started before I was born into this world and that was orchestrated by a will stronger than my own. My only chance of fighting against such power and avoid committing the same mistakes twice is knowledge, but the path to liberation, to be free of saṃsāra, is long and I carry with me the attachments of lifetimes that I still do not fully understand. The liberation I seek is not only for myself, which is why, of all places in the worlds, I am here now, battling in the front lines alongside the Dragon. These events are a turning point in the Emerald Empire's history and they will be the cause for much suffering. As a samurai, my role here is to fight and to kill my opponents in order to protect our Empire; but as a shugenja my role is to help others free themselves from their own suffering, to provide guidance. I wish I could but I do not believe that I can release myself from my bindings by shying away from these dilemmas through quiet contemplation, so, I intend to face them and maybe, by doing so, I can give a meaning to the destruction that will be wrought here and help turn it into something transient. After finishing his argument, Manji heard the dark fox speak again, this time in a provocative tone, "the liberation I seek is not only for myself," it gave a little pause and its voice became serious, a noble purpose but it is easier said than done. The Celestial Order is exactly about that, Order, and not liberation or knowledge. It is meant to keep the humans, and other beings, in predetermined places under the rule of the children of Amaterasu not grant them power to change their own lives. If we keep following this path, it will come a time when we will need to leave Rokugan again, as it was before. Are you prepared for that? Do you really need to ask? Manji smiled and it seemed as if he was smiling about either something he remembered or something Enishi wasn't aware of, after everything that I've seen, I not only expect that but I long for it. I wish to see the world with my own eyes and, if leaving our birthplace will help protect the things and people that I care about, so be it. But before we arrive at that point, there is much to do. The dark fox laughed, well said.