Journals of a Wandering Tensai

[tadakasan]

Day 1: My Doji ally has seen it fit to give me this journal as a gift, a rare one indeed since it's paper was made from the trees of my Clan's own Isawa Mori, and I know how hard such paper is to obtain. Apparently he had found the kimono made by the Imperial tailors a most apprciative gift and decided to return the favor. Domo Doji-san.

I have just left Winter Court to go back to the front lines; I had some unfinished business with a disagreement back in Kyuden Doji, and while I normally do no let such things bother me, I had to keep using the favors the Crane owed me to send the oaf away. And I did not wish to keep needing to trouble them for such a thing. I went back, accepted her duel and the imagined slight the Yoritomo had was put to rest. For good I hope. She swore to me that she would not forget theslight I had caused her, so perhaps my hopes are too high in that regard... I wish some samurai were not so prideful sometimes, but I suppose we are made for war in the end, so it may have it's place as well. Regardless many samurai seem to have it in great ambundance, especially those Mantis who feel they still have something to prove, and those Lion who see their place as the protectors of the Empire and the Crab who fight on the Wall who seek to remind people of their sacrifices and duty every day; I have fought the Yobanjin, slain Bloodspeakers and their undead abominations, fought with Bake-mono, and even been to places where oni and twisted versions of honorable samurai dwell. I very much appreciate the duty those honorable people have for the good of the Empire. But having experienced all those things and much more, I still do not see a reach for lording such thing over others heads. The Empire is a collection of many things; military might, proper culture, bushido, elegant art, the will of the Celestial Heavens, the child of the Kami, and a realm populated by hundreds of thousands of peasants whose crops and goods flow through the Empire like a leaf upon a river...

Anyways, I seem to have gone on a tangent; The situation here in the north west Unicorn lands seems to be worse than when I left. While I will not say we are anything close to losing, it does seem that what we were fighting before was little more than a scouting force. I have added my prayers to the Kami where they will be useful, but I have seen little sign of other Phoenix in some time, not in Winter Court and not here. Hopefully that will change soon. Until then, I will fight side by side with my brethern from other Clans; they have proven no less worthy than anyone from my Clan as companions or as samurai, and sometimes more than some Phoenix I know.

Just another truth that becomes more and more apparent as I travel the Empire.

[tadakasan]

Entry 2: I have spent much time fighting the Yobanjin now, though my feet and mind grow weary of the constant movement, the constant danger. I thank the air kami for their help in keeping me safe though some difficult circumstances; being able to walk right by a gaijin to know his battle plans is most helpful.

For now though I am not at the front. Having reported to the Khan himself about the gravity of the situation I made my way towards the south through Seiketsu Pass. I could have gone to the Phoenix lands, but I had business with the Scorpion anyways, so helping them train with their war efforts is not trouble at all. Besides, they have proven to be most excellent teachers in the ways of the air kami, as well as other helpful skills... I will be staying in Kyuden Bayushi, travelling between the town of Beiden and Shiro no Shosuro for my duties and instruction; I am fairly confident the stay will prove most fruitful indeed.

Oh, and a note; I did find a small group of Phoenix at the Keep before I left to the south. An Agasha Miya was there along with Asako Kiyami and another Isawa named Gareburōdo (quite hard to say, even for one who has studied a little on Gaijin languages). They were there with some younger samurai who looked fresh from their gempukkus. It was heartening to see some of my brethren, and they seemed in high spirits as well. I fear I will see few more in my stay with the Scorpion, but it is night to know I am not the only one who has heard the call of the Empress, may the Heavens shine upon her reign.

I am somewhat amazed this book survived the rigors of battle in such fine shape, but that is a weight off my shoulders since I this book will see a lot of travel if I am to be writing in it regularly; it is proving to be a most remarkable gift. For now I will keep put it back in my bags; the tea is here and my bones feel like I just got tossed down a mountain; I'm not sure I've ever get used to riding a horse...

[tadakasan]

Entry 3: I have been in Scorpion lands for a good number of days now, and I will say my efforts have come up with mixed results. There does seem to be a genuine need for my services here and my Scorpion hosts seem more than grateful for the research, tactical and logistics reports, and help with a matter of an armor shipment from Phoenix lands.

And yet, at the same time, I feel oddly out of place during my stay. The Scorpion seem very insistent on checking my papers, sometimes a dozen times a day during my work. And many of the papers I write go off and no feedback or reports to their use are given to me. I am not terribly surprised though; afterall, the mood between our two Clans has been one of tension with the ongoing discussion over the fate of the Black Scrolls in Winter Court. The Yogo also seem to want to keep their interest in fighting maho under wraps from what I've deduced, since all the work I've done to help them in that matter has been private to say the least.

Still, I cannot complain; checkpoints and secrecy cannot dimish the view of the mountains nor the great grateitude and favors that have been given to me for my work, as well as the wonderful hospitality. What I have heard about the grace and... charms of Scorpion Samurai-ko is well founded indeed.

Speaking of which, I have an appointment for tea with Akemi-san at the House of the Fluted Swallow. I hear they make excellent sashimi...

I promise next time I will write more, but there are so many distractions to deal with and work to be done. Until then, I shall remain in Scorpion Lands as long as I am needed.

[tadakasan]

Entry 4: Through favors I have accumulated and the help of my good friend Shosuro Taiken, the past week has proven most fruitful. The Baiyushi Daimyo apparently got word that I was in Scorpion lands and invited me to stay in the castle while I did my learning and work. I was also given a wonderful gift and the right to request an audience where ever I was in Scorpion lands. I am most pleased the Scorpion appreciate the teaching and research work I've done in their lands, as well as my help with certain unbecoming elements that choose to flaunt the will of the Heavens. Yet at the same time I feel like I am simply doing my job and I am no more than a simple man like anyone else, gifts of the Kami or not. Then again, a wise teacher once told me that everyone is but a man, even a Clan Champion or the Emerald Champion; those people must have an On of authority for the sake of those who serve them, but inside they have the same problems as everyone else. So according to him, if I were to feel otherwise there would be something wrong.

Having finished with my training at Shiro Shosuro I set off once more for the front lines of the war with the Yobanjin. The Scorpion have taught me much, and I think there is no better time to apply such knowledge of death than at this time with the future of the Unicorn lands and possibly the Empire at stake. Some may judge me poorly for taking advise from the Scorpion in this case, but only those with an open mind will find enlightenment; in my travels I have worked next to peasants, eaten meat with the Unicorn, collected goblin heads with the Crab, fought tainted Samurai with nothing but a finger of Jade keeping me from becoming one of them. I have snuck past checkpoints to save time and to test my abilities... I have done many things might consider questionable or disgusting. But I have never lost my sense of Bushido; honor, compassion, loyalty, duty, courage, courtesy, and honesty have always guided everything I have done, so I am not ashamed of one thing I have done in my life towards enlightenment. Of course, I make mistakes and have doubts like everyone else, but I feel strong enough to stand on virtues and my accomplishments to know that I am not poor in body or spirit.

Anyways, back to the battlefront; I have some darts to play...

[tadakasan]

Entry 5: Well, I helped take care of another Yobajin camp the other day, but the kami say more are coming; that matches up with what the scouts are saying... as well as the other Yobanjin. Having taken care of that it came to my attention that the front was extremely short on supplies and no where near prepared for a larger assault. While some may have scoffed at such a notion, I took it upon myself to help with the trade caravans.

Having said that, I have found myself taken from one end of the Empire to the other by horse, boat, and foot. When they said supplies, first I thought they were only talking about troops, weapons, armor... but apparently goods are also needed for the front and I completely forgot! Fish and rice to eat, silk to repair clothing, iron to repair armor, bamboo and wood to make peasant weapons, tea to keep the guards vigilant and awake...

I know I have spent time on the wall, and many other theaters of war, even the City of the Lost with my brothers and sisters in the noble Crab. But I suppose I never thought about the life side of battle, only the part that is death. Looking at it now, I cannot believe I missed something to fundamental about war; A battle is won not just by defeating your opponent, but also by not defeating yourself with poor equipment or starvation. I believe it has something to do with my life as a Shugenja where I do not have "equipment" and I have few needs as a holy man anyways. And what I do need can often be provided by the kami; You can actually summon tea by entreating the kami correctly, though it is almost always bland, and certainly fire to cook and water to drink are in no short supply.

What it all comes to is this; the peasants. When one thinks of war from reading, the soldiers and heros are mentioned. When you're on the front lines, one thinks of not being killed. Only when one steps back and makes war for a living do all the peices fall into place.

Anyways, I must put down my journal and go; the caravan is about to leave for the Crane lands and I am needed to bless the trip. I pray all of this logistical works pays off in the end for the Empire, I truly do.

[tadakasan]

Entry 6: I am nearly finished with my duties in helping with the logistics of supplies and the protection of said supplies. There have been troubles along the way with bloodspeakers, bandits, merchants and mercenaries who put the value of a koku above the wellfare of the Empire. But then, I suppose one could say I haven't so much run into unexpected things so much as run into them in unexpected places. Either way, none of that troubles me too greatly; things have been going relatively smoothly overall and it seems that much of the Empire is stocked for what looks to be a long winter indeed.

Really there are two things that have, in the end, troubled me more than bandits and bloodspeakers... One of them seems legitimate, the other more personal. The legitimate one is the dire lack of armor and weapons I have been able to procure compared to the demand for it. The smithies cannot keep up with the demand for these things for the troops they need for the front, and I fear there is no way I can see to remedy the situation. I am assured the mines are working as fast as they can to produce materials for the war effort, though I have had doubts myself visiting mines in the Dragon and Crab lands (the ones responsible for most of the ore needed). It almost seems like not everything being produced is finding its way into the right hands, or that more of it is falling to bandits than I thought... it is distrubing to think either could be possible in the Empire.

The second... less sure doubt, isin regards to Kyuden Tonbo. I heard many promise materials and support in Winter Court, but as I have visited the ruins the materials and progress have been less than ideal. Perhaps it is the same hands of banditry and corruption at work there? Or perhaps promised resources have been put toward the war effort. Either way, I hate to see my Clan's little cousins suffering so, especially in the cold of a northern winter.

For now, I will do what I can on both fronts of my troubled mind before returning for instructions in regard to the Yobanjin. I shall have to trust in others it is true, but that does not mean I can not do a little investigation of my own. Afterall, it is not like I am not an Inquisitor...

[tadakasan]

Entry 7: It seems no manner of wandering in the name of Duty can take me from my Position; I have been called back to the Council to weigh in on our position regarding the recent announcements of the Shogun. It was not too long of a discussion; we had been gathering armies for the sole purpose of this moment and it is not like I was doing my part helping to get arms and armor to the right people for no reason.

Then again, there was another purpose behind the meeting of course; Yobanjin Mura. It seems in the zealousness, all be it admirable zealousness, of the Clans to find out more information on the Yobanjin to better fight this invasion has made it known somehow of the existance of the Asako's city on our northern border. The Asako wished to keep the village a secret and the Council has always been of the same mind; we desired the village be kept for purposes of research and for what ever interest the Asako had in it was of no concern.

But now it seems to be public knowledge of the existance of the village. The council are all most concerned about the ramifications of this; are we to lose our source of research? What if the other Clans find out we have been sponsering trade and contact with these Yobanjin, even if it is in the same spirit of the Mantis, trade that is unequal to the Empire's benefit. Then there is the dissapearance of the Asako daimyo and a postion of his family, mirroring our own concerns over the village and a desire to see to it that things do not get out of control.

It seems to me though that there is more to the letter he sent than simple concern over a source of information and reseach materials, or the On of the Clan. No, I see no reason this group of Asako, all monks, would take it upon themselves to go off to solve this problem on their own unless there was something else motivating them, perhaps something about the reason the Asako have always seemed to have their own interest in the village? The rest of the Phoenix have always figured the interest was something only a monk could understand, some facet of Enlightenment that they found with the Yobanjin that the rest of us just could not see. But having done more extensive research inthe Asako libraries than anyone else in the Council, and possibly the whole of Rokugan apart from the Asako themselves, I am beginning to peice together a picture that is all at once facinating and disturbing. And also makes the situation of Yobanjin Mura much more dire and complicated. I have done more research with those in the Yogo, since I hold the Scorpion in such high regard, and their libraries seem to have as little as the Isawa's, so I do not think this knowledge is known even to the Clan of secrets; which is a comfort of sorts since the Isawa were unaware of the Asako's reasons ourselves.

Either way, I am finished with my research for now. I have made my way to Yobajin Mura, and it is crowded with other Clan samurai, brow beating the simple Yobanjin peasants and... possibly my own Clanmates. I just pray violence does not break out, as has already been threatened by some Lion, Unicorn, and Crab towards the village that they see as a blight upon our northern borders. I fear I do not know how I would respond...

[tadakasan]

Entry 8: The situation in Yobanjin Mura seems to have slightly washed over with the announcement of the Shogun being on the march now. Strange that we have still heard nothing from the Emperor on all these matters... though I am not about to start thinking over any theories as to why that is; the son of Heaven likely is aware of everything, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with deligation, as Sun Tao showed himself.

I have done my part, meeting with the Lion as far as Phoenix troop placements go and finishing my work with the logistics of supplies for the army. Still though, these elements regarding what I was told in Yobanjin Mura will not leave my mind. The Tortoise ended up being too busy to meet with me, their Champion being at a meeting of the Minor Clan Alliance that has been reforming and no one else apparently of high enough station availible. Which was most dissapointing.

Frankly, I am not sure where else to go; The only other Clan with as much knowledge on the Yobanjin as the Tortoise would be the Unicorn, and they seem to know little about the cause of these attacks. The Asako spoke to me upon my return to their palace and we got things straightened out... I think. Regardless, they have no more information on the causes of all this than the Unicorn or Dragon.

Perhaps I should just give up at this point and simply do what I can for the Shogun's march; ever since his intentions were announced just after I was at Setsuro-sama's party, I have at least had some hope that this march would prove to put an end to this conflict with as few casualties as possible. Perhaps even more so with the aid of the Council. But I still can't help like feeling there is something else I should be doing besides marching along side the Shogun; call it intuition or call it me being a curious wanderer... either way I have little time to make up my mind. Hopefully it will prove to be easier than I imagine.

[Kitsuki Yuushahime]

(ooc: Am enjoying your entries Tadaka. Will there be an update?)

[tadakasan]

( Course; I'm just in no particular rush. One or two a week here. )

Entry 9: Well, I suppose I can forget all about the informattion I was seeking regarding the Yobanjin for now; with the Champion on the front, I got "supported" to represent us at the capital at this critical time. Now mind you, I suppose there's a reason for that. Despite the fact I know I come off as somewhat of a loner sometimes and somewhat blunt, I do have the most political experience among the Council, mostly due to my travels even if they are not on official business all the time.

But like I was saying, it seems I can forget the information for now. The capital is a-buzz with news of the Shogun; rumors, praise, flattery, scandals, and what I'd consider out-right blasphemy myself. But of course, with the Emperor sequestered away and the Chancellor seemingly encouraging the rumors, it's not like there is anything I can do about any of it. It's the best I can do at the moment to try to speak for the Phoenix with all this seemingly contradictory information. I've debated the issue, looked at it from both sides... I've even managed to get seperate letters where I've earned Kaneka-sama's praise and ire about my work here. Which doesn't surprise me since he's likely following my work very very carefully, the honorable Shogun being part of our Clan.

Truthfully, I believe in the Shogun; having met him before, I can say the man IS ambitious, but not a traitor. He fights for the Empire as much as I do and even if he might be reckless here, he is not being traitorous, that much is certain to me. In the end I will do what I can, but in many ways I am still but a humble priest in a nest of scorpions... both literally and figuratively.

[tadakasan]

Entry 10: I had a strange vision the other night. One might call it a dream, but this was much more expansive than any dream I have had before. I dreamed of a different Rokugan, a place ironically called Nagukor. In this world, everything seemed to be backwards.

Time had begun with Lord Moon and Lady Sun, but they ruled in the Heavens in Jigoku and were tainted. The Kami had been born the same way, and had fallen the same way, though the end result was different; Ryoshan died as in our world, but all of the rest of the Kami fell through the world except Fu-Leng. While the rest of the Kami got "corrupted" by the evil of Tengoku when they punched through the pit, Fu-Leng remained pure. Lady Sun's tears fell on the earth, and became obsidian, while Onnotangu's blood formed into Jade.

Mourning the loss of his beloved brothers and sisters, Fu-Leng set up a great empire in Nagukor. Finding trustworthy individuals, he created different Clans:

- In the north of Nagukor in the high mountains he found a man named Kokujin, a monk of great power and purity of purpose. He was very eccentric and delighted in riddles, also questioning a great deal about life. Fu-Leng named him and his followers the Mad Steel Clan and told them to always question things, to always be true to themselves so the Empire would not grow stagnant.

- In the northeast, Fu-Leng found a powerful sorcerer named Chuda who knew powerful secrets about blood magic. Before Chuda had discovered the secrets of Blood magic, the people of the Empire had practiced a debased form of magic that called upon the wicked elemental spirits that infused the world, and his magic proved to be more pure and strong. Chuda's Clan was a clan of knowledge and sorcery and was known as the Dream Snake Clan.

- In the heart of the Empire, beings known as the Tsuno dwelled, a race of strong but honorable creatures. Long ago, in the City of Night, they had been betrayed by their own brethren known as the Kitsu, and the Tsuno had banished the traitors to Yomi for their punishment. Some of these strong creatures took on human form and married with Fu-Leng's followers, and thus the Blood Tiger Clan was born, the right hand of the Emperor.

- To the east, along the coasts, Fu Leng found a devoted man with drive and vision named Daigotsu. Many of the other powerful figures respected his vision for the Empire and his varied skills, and it was he who had kept peace in the Empire before Fu-Leng had arrived. He was given the Silken Spider Clan to rule over as Fu-Leng's Left Hand, setting the standards with which disputes and court were handled.

- On the seas, fleets of pirates and raiders sailed, largely under the rule of an ambitious woman named Kitao. She had assassinated the weak captains until she remained unopposed and had gathered great wealth. Fu-Leng sanctioned her actions and gave her the title of a Clan Master. Her Clan was one that would exploit the world for wealth, and thus was named the Wave Coin Clan.

- In the northwest corner of the Empire a fierce tribe of men, unlike any other in the Empire, ruled. They were known as the Moto and had conquered and killed many other tribes to make their way to Nagukon. They had been at war with the people in the Empire's lands but a vision had led them to lay down their enmity. Fu-Leng met with their leader, a man named Tsume, and made him the Master of a new Clan. They would be the emissaries of the Empire to the outside world, powerful horsemen and skilled survivalists. They were joined by others to boost their skills, and the Clan was known as the Dark Roc Clan.

- South of the Spine of the World mountains, a being known as the Shadow Dragon had set up an Empire. The dragon was part of the essence of Nothing, the being that had been there before time itself, and Fu-leng saw great merit in having such an ally. The Shadow Dragon agreed thus Fu-Leng gave him the Shadow Lotus Clan to rule over; they would take care of the dirty work of the Emperor and would assure the rest of the Clans had a target of their ire that was seemingly not loyal and was always watching from the Shadows, making sure they would not unite against the Emperor.

- The southern part of the Empire was ruled over by a mighty Oni known as the Maw. It had many servants under it such as the bakemono and the fallen Trolls. Seeing the purity of Fu Leng, the Maw followed his commands and joined his cause, while still being more uncivilized than the rest of the Empire. His Clan was set to watch out against the corrupt samurai who inhabited the Lightlands that surrounded the hole into Toshigoku, who were always seeking to corrupt or attack the Empire. They built a great wall of Bone and stood guard for the Empire and were known as the Obsidian Oni Clan.

- Finally, there were those who chose to serve Fu-Leng directly; a man named Iuchiban served as Fu-Leng's emissary, a man who was a mighty sorcerer who knew the secrets of immortality. His followers shared his secret and his vast knowledge, and they proved to be greatly influential courtiers; for no matter how others might spite them they could not be killed, and always seemed to know their opponents' weaknesses. His family was commonly known as the Cloud, for they could not be touched by swords, hid the Emperor from politics, and contained cast hidden knowledge.

- There was also an Ogre named Kayomasa, who bravely fought for Fu-Leng as a body guard. Fu-Leng granted him and the Ogres the duty of protecting the Emperor and leading his personal Legions. Kayomasa's family was also known fondly as the Chrysanthemum, since they protected the Emperor himself.

- Finally there was a man named Morito, a skilled horseman and a man who seemed to have connections throughout the Empire. He was a great asset to Fu-Leng, so the Kami granted Morito a family. Their duty would be to spread the Emperor's word through the Empire and promote unity among the Clans and sects within them. His family was named the Kolat, the name of Morito's information network before the fall of Fu-Leng.
--------------------------

South of the Wall of Bone, the 7 corrupted Kami had set up a mockery of the Empire in the Lightlands, a place ruled by weak compassion, mindless duty, the waste of lives to pointless courage, and sincerity and honesty in place of simply saying what you wanted others to hear and believe. They also discriminated unjustly against those who were not human, treating even the Light corrupted Nezumi and Naga who lived in their lands with contempt.

These corrupt samurai attacked the Empire many times in their drive to corrupt it and turn it into a mockery of everything it stood for. Many times the loyal samurai and oni of the Empire had attempted to root out this cancer upon the surface of the world, but the Lightlands would corrupt those who did not carry many sticks of Obsidian, and the undead troops would melt away in the land's presence...

Other than that, there were other details shown to me; the Brotherhood still existed, but they were known as the Brotherhood of Tangen, a man who had shown great wisdom in the ways of the world and had helped defeat the assault of the Kami at the start of the Empire. His book "Lies" was the foundation of religion in the Empire, though it had been blended with the worship of the Fortunes by the order of the Emperor. Their monk priests were loved and feared by the common people, for they would help the commoners unlike the Samurai, but they also had a habit of not keeping promises and brutality towards those who questioned them. Later, writings of the Kami himself were discovered and added to Lies, the latter section being known as the Tao of Fu-Leng, which held it's own profound wisdom.
=================

I cannot say I have ever had such a thorough dream. It is as if weeks passed and I toured this twisted world. I do not think it is corruption or a vision, for how could something so opposite come to be? It is simply nonsense. Still, I will write it down, for one does not put aside such deep visions so lightly.

[tadakasan]

(*this entry is weeks later from the last one and is written in red ink. The writing is still elegant but has a more hurried, rougher look to it*)

Entry 11: The dream was false to be sure. But it has lead to a revelation of sorts; perhaps this whole time I have been wandering the world looking for further insight into Enlightenment I have been blind, as is so often the case with those who purposefully look for it.

I had let honor, duty, compassion... bushido get in the way of my search. I was wandering Rokugan, staying in acceptable places and doing acceptable things. Sure I wasn't always in a place of comfort, like my time spent on the wall or time spent in the Dragon's cold rocky wilderness, but I the danger was always external and approved. All this time I had missed the most important danger to truly test who a person is; inner danger. The danger of being on the brink of corruption, the danger of others' disapproval, the danger of people not understanding your search and possibly even hunting you for your efforts to Understand. Fortunately, I have realized this while I am still relatively young; I have wasted time to make up for, and I have the time and will to do so.

Mind you, I am still me; I still respect bushido, my Clan, and the Emperor. I think they all represent a code that is healthy, good, and right for people to follow. A code of purity, peace, compassion, honesty, and beauty. But the fact remains that that code is but one aspect of the world, and how is one supposed to understand the whole of the Cosmos with knowing only a sliver of it?

There is so much to do, and despite me saying I am still young, so little time. What the Empire is really is such a small sliver of things. There are other realms to explore such as Meido, Gaki-do, and Yomi. Then there are all the distant lands in this world such as the Burning Sands, the Ivory Kingdoms, and the island the Merenae come from (the gaijin who developed gaijin pepper from my research). Not to mention all the places within the Empire I have not been because they were considered off limits; the hives of gambling and opium which lurk in some cities, the deep parts of the Shinomen, the stained Fields of the Dead, and the Shadowlands of course.

So many places to go... I had started by visiting some gambling dens in Scorpion lands, but in my digging I soon discovered an out of the way geisha house where the proprietors were not just corrupt, but tainted in the end. It had only taken a little poking in the minds of the staff to find this out, and the minds of the patrons seemed to mention a "Spider" clan more than once. I had heard of them as a band of ronin, but it seemed they had something to do with the Lost.

Thus after much travel I find myself in the City of the Lost, the true home of this Spider Clan. They are not ronin at all, but a Clan that worships the fallen Kami Fu-Leng. A very intriguing concept, and one that (no doubt) I would have probably alerted people to only a month or so ago. But now, after my vision and my revelations over the past two weeks... I understand the worth of this place. These Spider have their own codes of honor, their own society, their own families and courts. What better place to start on my journey into the unknown than a place that is much like the Empire where I came from, but also explores the sides of this world I have been missing.

Truly others might consider these Spider to be corrupt, and in a sense they are with the Taint in them. But is there really anything so wrong with that in the end? Is not the Taint just another manifestation of the Cosmos, another state of being? I believe so myself, and so I will let this taint into me; explore how it effects me, explore how it effects others, how it shapes the society of the Spider and their alternate version and vision of the Empire. I do not plan on becoming lost in it; I have studied the maho tsukai as much as anyone in the Empire and I know the effects of being dependent on the Taint.

But then, there is nothing I will become dependent on in the end; Not the Taint, not bushido, not the Empire, not these Spider, any of the Kami, or to anyone or anything else. On the path to true Enlightenment I can only depend on myself. For all else is of this world, all else has interests outside of mine, and NONE shall stand in my way. I WILL obtain more than just Enlightenment, for Enlightenment is a thing that is but a path rather than a goal. I will instead become perfect, something that I had argued once with Kakita Yûshahime was also unobtainable. But like many things at that time, I was looking too deep. I will not be perfect in the sense I meant, and in a slightly different sense than what she meant. I cannot be anything but a perfect example of me. But I will go beyond that perfect example of myself and stretch its limits. As of now, I have the Tadaka that I am. But just because I will always be me does not mean I can become more than what I am. Right now I am Isawa Tadaka, Tadaka the priest, Tadaka the Ishiken, Tadaka the wanderer...

I can be more than that. I will also be Tadaka the duelist, Tadaka the scholar, Tadaka the explorer of the spirit realms and the world, Tadaka of all Clans and no Clan, Tadaka the gambler, Tadaka the sinful, Tadaka the Tainted, Tadaka of great power and great knowledge... I will be so that I am not only me, but the me that I will become will also be an example of so much more...

[tadakasan]

Entry 12: I have left the lands of the so called Spider Clan. Things were going as well as could be expected for one such as me until I got into the middle of a fight between a group of great clan samurai and a castle of bloodspeakers led by one Chuda Oronkihiro. I get the impression that despite my attempts to prevent bloodshed that someone may have gotten hurt and the experiments I had come to see are probably disrupted... I am beginning to regret leaving my old life behind less and less; A world of violence and narrow mindedness is not the place for me, or for Enlightenment.

I have calmed down since my last journal entry; I will admit to not knowing how to handle myself at the time, just having left my old life and unsure of how much of it to let go of. But now I am detached and no longer stressful about it; I have removed my old Clan colors, grown a beard, taken to wearing a katana and practicing with it in addition to my magic... If nothing else becoming a different person is sure to aid me in my freedom to move about in a way. It is true I will be treated poorly if people think me a ronin. but I will keep my Phoenix possessions handy; there is no reason to abandon them and they will come in handy I feel.

Anyways, since I teleported away from the Shadowlands I ended up in Otosan Uchi of all places. It makes sense I suppose since those ruins have a sort of connection with the Shadowlands since the second day of thunder. It is fortunate though since it means I ended up lands where ronin are treated relatively well; the Oriole have little against ronin and are too busy with their works besides. And the Tortoise are even more understanding and accepting of those who make their way through the world.

In the end, after a little bit of wandering I have settled down in the outskirts of the city around Kyuden Kasuga. I find the atmosphere to my liking, not to mention the privacy. It is also a fine place for new experiences. As always I have been sure to be careful, from my joining a group of bandits for a drink to visiting an opium den; moderation in all things and nothing in excess, especially with things that it is common sense are dangerous. Opium does not seem to be to my liking anyways, so I sold the rest I had back to an eager Kasuga merchant.

For now I will stay here, possibly travel north some since I find the Mantis lands to my liking as well. There are also some rumors of some "troubles" in the wastes known as the Fields of the Dead that would be most interesting to check out...

[tadakasan]

(( OOC: Closing down this thread for obvious reasons, not being Phoenix anymore and me not wanting to do long journal entries I will be starting a new thread in Toshi Ranbo though of Tadaka's writings and letters. ))