Kakita Sojiro
Crane Clan Global Mod
When you die, will you be remembered, or will you be just another strand in the tapestry?
Posts: 900
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Post by Kakita Sojiro on Jan 6, 2012 10:41:11 GMT -5
Sojiro sat in the chill night air on the wall overlooking Kyuden Doji's main gate, brush and ink in hand.
love is but a wave measure it's height with your heart wave it back again
He stared out at the path that Mai, the woman who was supposed to be his enemy, had taken back to her homelands. He knew why she had left, and had the situations been reversed, he would have done the same thing. Her dedication to doing what was right, no matter the cost, was one of the things that had stolen his heart. All samurai were honorable, but she was more than that - she was fierce, passionate in her beliefs, and he had no doubt that she would sacrifice everything to do what she felt was right.
He was in trouble, and he knew it.
Love's only weakness Is also it's greatest strength. It defies reason.
He sat, watching the falling snow fill in the tracks that Ren had left in it earlier, and tried to quiet his fears as he recalled their conversation before she had to leave. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Utaku Mai
Unicorn Clan
*Battle Maiden* *Paragon of Honor* *Goddamn Rockstar*
Posts: 484
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Post by Utaku Mai on Jan 6, 2012 12:02:31 GMT -5
Earlier that afternoon...
*****
The two samurai had bent their heads together as they walked in the gardens, whispering secretly in a way that made the older, wiser courtiers around them think fondly of their own long-forgotten youth. So when the courtiers could see Utaku Mai and Kakita Sojiro headed toward the stables for an afternoon ride, they hid their smiles behind their fans but ultimately said very little.
Like everything else at Kyuden Doji, the stables were superb. Ren was housed in a spacious stall usually reserved for the fine horses of Doji's Fan, with mindful hands and fresh victuals. Mai was hard-pressed to find any fault, and would scarcely have found better arrangements at her own estate. The Utaku mare paced the stall impatiently, eager to get out and move. Servants brought in the saddlry and other trappings for Ren as well as Sojiro's horse Shadowshine, as well as some more suitable clothes for the riders. Mai donned what she had accustomed to wearing for riding -- Tattsuke-bakama that allowed freedom of movement in the saddle, sturdy layers of kosode and quilted hitatare, topped with a fine fur-lined caftan to protect against the cold air. The fine silks, the memorial that they were for her honored mother, were put away carefully for later use.
While the Gardens of Kyuden Doji had several well-tended trails for riding, Mai managed to persuade her escort into the wild, empty fields on the outskirts of the castle. There, under the crisp, open sky, on an untouched field of white powder, Mai and Ren set into the horizon at a full run, Sojiro and Shadowshine following only slightly behind. The wind whipped hard at her face and hair, causing her nose and cheeks to go red and numb, her arranged hair now a mess of dark tendrils. But for perhaps the first time, she could be utterly at ease with her surroundings. The tension she had been carrying for so long seemed to ebb from her with each galloping step.
Once the horses were fully warmed from the exercise, the two steeds were set to a steady walking pace next to one another, their steps and occasional whinnies providing a parallel conversation to the one taking place between the duelist and the battle maiden in the quiet stillness of the field.
Small talk was made, about their respective memories of Kyuden Doji, of their respective childhood games and friends. Mai was full of questions, indicating the deep curiosity present in the hearts of all Unicorn. There was a riddle here, and she could not help trying to find as many pieces as possible. Finally when the time felt right, she asked the question that most fervently burned within her.
"Sojiro, when you first told me about your cousin, I admit I got quite a different picture of his personality. I imagine you know him quite well, but what made you believe he wanted to kill Battou? And how were you able to shake the branches to stop the attempt?"
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Kakita Sojiro
Crane Clan Global Mod
When you die, will you be remembered, or will you be just another strand in the tapestry?
Posts: 900
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Post by Kakita Sojiro on Jan 6, 2012 12:21:49 GMT -5
Sojiro had changed into a pair of black riding hakama and a heavy kimono and haori that was decorated with the image of a crane flying through storm clouds. His hair, which had been braided down his back on arrival was now free and flowing somewhat wildly after the ride through the snow. He was thoroughly enjoying the ride, but his ear to ear grin subsided a bit with the mention of Saiko.
"Saiko-san.... we know each other extremely well. I've trusted him with my life more than once. I even trained him in the Kakita form of Iaijitsu when he was younger, if that tells you how close we are. But he was also trained as a yamabushi in his homelands, essentially a yojimbo for the Dragon's shugenja that can also use some magic."
"Saiko only uses his magic when he intends to kill, and even then it's a last resort for him. He didn't even use it at Toshi Ranbo, when we went after the ram. But tonight, did you notice the way the air around him suddenly stopped, and how the sky just.... froze? Saiko was about to open that supposedly friendly duel with magic. And his magic isn't something he can go easy with. It's all or nothing. And he uses fire."
He shook his head.
"His attitude towards you was also very out of character for him. Not the questions, so much as the stare and the way he said those words. There was an unspoken challenge there. When he learned of our meeting with the lion champion, he was curious and excited, not accusatory. I have no idea what's wrong with him, but something is very wrong."
"As for the branches...." he sighed.
"It's.... a gift, I guess? I wish I understood it better than I do, honestly. The void talks to me, and the air kami have always been with me, for as long as I can remember. It's not magic in the same way as shugenja use. I don't force the kami to do anything specific, so much as I have an idea in mind, and they do what they see fit to do. I've never had the kind of control over it that a shugenja has, or even worked the same way they do. Apparently, my nursemaid was also an Asahina shugenja, and she told my parents when I was born that I was "beloved of the void", or something to that effect. But, I have no idea why that is or what it means."
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Utaku Mai
Unicorn Clan
*Battle Maiden* *Paragon of Honor* *Goddamn Rockstar*
Posts: 484
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Post by Utaku Mai on Jan 6, 2012 14:17:27 GMT -5
"I understand that many of the defenders of Toshi Ranbo took the loss of the city very badly." Mai said quietly. While she'd never apologize for the role she played in taking the city, she understood well of the cost it incurred to both sides and was sympathetic all the same. "In that light, I can understand his coldness toward me. But his behavior toward Battou-san, one who should have been his friend and ally...it just doesn't make any sense."
As Sojiro peeled back another layer of himself to reveal his connection to the kami, Mai was taken aback. While she was learned somewhat in the ways of the spirits and elements in her training period before her gempukku, it was only ever enough to show proper reverence. Such a constant visitation by a kami seemed rare, definitely outside of her own knowledge.
"It is good that you have been so blessed. You were able to use this gift to see what no one else could, and use that knowledge to save the life your clansman. That is not a trifling matter." From what Sojiro had implied about his early life, she wondered if this gift had been the origin of some of his childhood grief.
Part of her wanted to reach out to him, to imbue in him some strength through her own hand to indicate her respect for him, in spite of (or perhaps because of) the things that made him different. Such an action was almost never done in Rokugan, though the Unicorn would often show affection through touch, influenced as they were by their long travels among the gaijin. Mai was of two worlds, and learned the hard way just how far the Crane's adherence to protocol and tradition went. She instead reached a gloved over the white flank of her steed, rubbing some unseen itch behind the animal's ear, until Ren shook her silvery mane in an obvious motion of contentment.
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Kakita Sojiro
Crane Clan Global Mod
When you die, will you be remembered, or will you be just another strand in the tapestry?
Posts: 900
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Post by Kakita Sojiro on Jan 7, 2012 0:28:14 GMT -5
"You do have a point, of course. I've never seen it as a burden, I just wish I understood it better. The shugenja I've spoken to about it are confounded. And you may have a point about Toshi Ranbo's effect on Saiko-san, as well. It certainly drove Alesha over the edge. He went from an honorable man to someone that would try to bind an oni to one he used to call friend." Sojiro sighed. He still wasn't sure why, but he felt comfortable letting down his fears and cares with Mai.
"Alesha is.... was... one of my instructors from when I was a boy. He's older than me by a few years, but the three of us - him me, and Mitsouko-sama - spent a lot of time together as children. I don't know what possessed him to try to attach an oni to Mitsouko-sama, but I have to admit that I worry if I am his next target."
He chuckled.
"I wish she was here for you to meet her outside of her position as our Daimyo. When she was young she was betrothed to a crab, and her father made sure she got the 'training' to fit into the Crab society. She took to it so well that she tried to kill her betrothed with a boken. At nine years old. She is my best friend, the sister that was never born to my parents." His chuckle grew a bit. "We would pretend to be river pirates when we were little, 'raiding' the other children and looting their things, only to return the items by 'throwing them overboard' before moving on to the next group of kids to terrorize. We were very odd children."
His smile at recalling the memory turned somewhat pensive, and he turned his head and met her gaze as she scratched Ren.
"I.... I'm tired of losing people to the shadows, Mai-san. In one way or another, it's been happening my whole life."
As he was speaking, Shadowshine leaned to her left a bit, leaving the horses only a few inches apart and brushing his hand up against Mai's. Before he knew what he was really doing, he found his hand in hers.
What are you doing, you idiot! She could justify taking your hand off right now with her katana for that move! And yet, even as that thought went through Sojiro's brain, he didn't let go.
You are either crazy or stupid, Kakita Sojiro. Or maybe both.
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Utaku Mai
Unicorn Clan
*Battle Maiden* *Paragon of Honor* *Goddamn Rockstar*
Posts: 484
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Post by Utaku Mai on Jan 7, 2012 11:56:00 GMT -5
She laughed at Sojiro's recollection, feeling her own pang of memories burn through her. "The other girls at the Dojo -- most of us were cousins or second-cousins anyway, but we were sisters as surely as if we all had come from the same womb. The shiotome had gone through so much and so many of my mother's generation had fallen in battle, it really drew us together, clinging together in our shared loss. My mother, Yun-Li -- she was everyone's favorite aunt, but really she had become a parent to those who had none. She was...she was always making a place in her home for a lost Utaku maiden."
It was the first time she had spoken aloud a recollection of her mother in nearly a year, realizing that Yun-Li was almost the last of her generation before her death at Mountain Watch Keep. She had been a pillar for so many, and now that she was gone Mai had hardened in an effort to avoid facing her own feelings concerning the loss of that foundation in her life. In sharing the memory, it seemed to peel the tough facade from her like a snake's shed skin. She felt vulnerable and exposed, but also more...comfortable, more at peace than she had been in several months. And Sojiro sounded like someone who understood...who had suffered his own loss and still was able to move on...
So she was even more taken aback when Sojiro took her hand in his. She gasped at the gesture. It was so bold, so gaijin, so unlike anything that she had been taught in the rigid ways of the Crane...
...it was something she really should have done first. What had stopped her? What was she afraid of, anyway?
I'm not afraid of anything.
Bolstered by the feeling of the warmth of his hands permeating her own, Mai brought her hand over to his face, putting a stray hair behind his ear, brushing his cheek with her fingers. In a maneuver only manageable by a rider comfortable on a horse from a time she could barely walk, Mai hiked her left knee in the saddle, leaned far into the Kakita, and kissed him.
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Kakita Sojiro
Crane Clan Global Mod
When you die, will you be remembered, or will you be just another strand in the tapestry?
Posts: 900
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Post by Kakita Sojiro on Jan 7, 2012 20:56:52 GMT -5
Sojiro heard Mai gasp slightly when their hands met, and suddenly his pulse was racing faster than it had been during his first duel. A million thoughts went through his head in a second: Was she offended? Was this proper? What were the Unicorn customs for things like this? Hell, what were the Crane customs for things like this? Was this a -
And then she touched him, and his mind went silent. She pushed one of the stubborn locks of hair behind his ear, and she leaned over to kiss him. And suddenly there was no cold wind, no snow, no horses... there was just her. He had the presence of mind to keep one hand on Shadowshine's reins so he didn't fall off of his horse, but just barely.
She pulled back a bit, almost as if she wasn't sure of what his reaction would be, and Sojiro looked into her eyes. He was, of course, completely stunned - but he certainly wasn't complaining.
"Mai..."
With one whispered word, he gently wrapped his free arm around her and returned her kiss with his own, and once again everything around him faded into the background in his mind.
It could have been a second, an hour, or all of eternity before the moment was broken by Ren snorting, and a moment later Shadowshine whinnied sightly. Sojiro came back to reality and saw something off in the distance, approaching Kyuden Doji quickly.
"What... who is that?"
A few moments later, it became clear that the approaching blur was in fact a rider. A rider wearing unicorn colors.
"Mai-san, do you know who that is?"
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Utaku Mai
Unicorn Clan
*Battle Maiden* *Paragon of Honor* *Goddamn Rockstar*
Posts: 484
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Post by Utaku Mai on Jan 8, 2012 12:55:45 GMT -5
It was so freeing, standing there under the wide blue sky, free from prying eyes of chaperons, from the suffocating walls of the palace, and from the boundaries she had placed around her own heart. There was no hiding her intent behind poetry or fans, just the pure expression of...well, of love, so far as Mai could even claim to understand such a heady and strange concept. The feeling of absolute joy was matched only by his reciprocation, the feeling of his embrace, the sudden magic of their secret shared intimacy.
It was forever in a moment, but ultimately, it was as ephemeral as a fog of breath in the cold air.
When Sojiro spoke again Mai at first thought he was joking, some effort to get back at her for her previous pranks. She gave a look of mock dismay, hoping to perhaps lead into another kiss, but it quickly melted away when she felt the hoofbeats reverberating through the earth, heading toward them with military speed. Her combat instincts took over, and within a moment Mai had reseated herself in the saddle, clicked her tongue to Ren, and they both broke away to face the incoming traveler. The separation she felt was wrenching -- how had the air gotten so cold? But other than a lingering look in his direction, her focus shifted on the coming interloper, trying to determine his identity or intent. Within a moment, realization hit her, hard.
Sojiro had seen Mai angry. He had seen her tense, and had even witnessed her rage. But even those moments were a far cry from what he could see her expressing now. It was like she was consumed in fire, with every muscle in her body reacting strongly to the sight before her. Somehow (he was entirely not sure how) her katana had transported from its case at Ren's side into her hand. She kicked her knees inward, causing Ren to rear, and then charge toward the mysterious rider with all the fury of the most elite cavalry regiment in the empire.
OOC: More to come soon, after I get back!
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Utaku Mai
Unicorn Clan
*Battle Maiden* *Paragon of Honor* *Goddamn Rockstar*
Posts: 484
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Post by Utaku Mai on Jan 8, 2012 18:49:46 GMT -5
OOC: More background on the exploits of Haru can be found here: rokuganee.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=unicornhq&action=display&thread=1926Sojiro looked at Mai's shrinking form in shock but would scarcely be able to catch up to her when she was at full charge. His sense of surprise only deepened when the incoming figure put his stallion to a full stop, dismounted, and prostrated himself in the snow, as Mai's weapon began to lower in her final push only a few paces before him. The action surprised everyone, including Ren, who reared again before making a hard stop before the stallion, as if recognizing the dappled grey horse. Even a skilled rider like Mai could barely hold her seat under such circumstances, and she was forced to abandon her charging stance for the moment, hanging on to her steed's flank and looking down at the form with a keen piercing anger. As Sojiro made is way closer on Shadowshine, he could begin to hear what sounded like the pleadings of a small boy. He was lying face-down in the snow, caring little for his ragged riding clothes, the unicorn mons barely visible through the mud and grime. He was speaking through hiccups of tears, a most unusual behavior for even a samuari child, until he could see that he did not even try to carry himself as such, and carried no weapon. "I beg of you, samurai-sama, please...I know what I have done, I'm so sorry...my life is forfeit to you, but please, delay your punishment for one minute and listen..."Mai looked down on the boy. It was obvious that he had had quite the journey, but the compassion in her heart was dulled by the still-present anger. "Settle yourself now, boy, and tell me why you are here...in the disguise of a samurai...riding my mother's finest Utaku stallion..." the words were barely a whisper, signifying to Sojiro the greater crime in her eyes "...Sanzo was never even with the unicorn army. How did he even come into your care from the Bikami stables?!"" "It is from Bikami that I have come, samurai-sama, with urgent news!" he said quickly, causing Mai's anger to disappear as suddenly as it arrived, as if he had spoken some kind of magic code word. She dismounted, and sheathed the katana into its holster on Ren's side and retrieving an apple reserved for Ren. She walked over to the boy, her tone now indicating worry rather than anger. "When did you last eat?"
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Kakita Sojiro
Crane Clan Global Mod
When you die, will you be remembered, or will you be just another strand in the tapestry?
Posts: 900
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Post by Kakita Sojiro on Jan 8, 2012 19:02:10 GMT -5
Sojiro rode up and dismounted, taking in the scene with a sense of unease. If this boy came from Unicorn lands, then he knew what taking this horse would mean. And yet he had done so anyway, to get his message to Mai.
And it had to be for Mai. She was the only Unicorn anywhere near Kyuden Doji.
He walked over to the shivering boy, removing his haori as he did so.
"Come now, you're soaking wet, boy. Get up and explain why you are here. How did you even know where to find her?" He offered the boy a hand up off of the ground and threw his heavy winter haori over his shaking form, trying to at least keep the wind from biting into him now that he was soaked. His eyes met Mai's as she offered him the apple.
This was not going to be good news.
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Utaku Mai
Unicorn Clan
*Battle Maiden* *Paragon of Honor* *Goddamn Rockstar*
Posts: 484
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Post by Utaku Mai on Jan 8, 2012 19:51:03 GMT -5
The boy, whose name was Haru, looked up at the two, his stomach growling at the proffered food, his blue-tipped fingers trembling as he put on the haori. Noticeably calmer now that he was not immediately about to be killed, Haru recounts one more time his experience delivering goods to the village of the Exiled, taking the time to wolf down his meal during the numerous inquiries from Mai.
"Shinjo Saiten is the magistrate of Kibukito, it is his responsibility to keep the peace there."
"Shinjo-sama was the one who was killed, samurai-sama. The mad man...he had him grabbed from behind, and he killed him with his own katana."
"How did you see this?"
"I was waiting in the hall of the inn...and saw through a crack in the door, samurai-sama. I...I screamed when I saw the blade go in, and...he saw me."
"Did he attack you?"
"No samurai-sama. The lady...Shinjo-sama had asked what the man had done to her...she chased me through the woods, until...until..." He began to burst into tears again, but Mai needed to hear the whole story. She knelt down in the snow in front of him, murmuring soft words of encouragement. Eventually the woman's grisly end came out of him, and the resulting response from the town to send him to find Mai-sama.
"I went first to the war camp, samurai-sama, but you had already left to Kyuden Doji. I...snuck past the border patrols, taking the long way around their posts, asking for directions from some ronin along the way." He looked at his apple core longingly, trying to find even a small bite's worth of fruit before throwing it behind his shoulder. Tears streamed down his eyes once more, knowing his objective had been fulfilled. he knelt down once again in the snow before Mai.
"I submit myself to your judgement, Utaku-sama. I broke your laws, and now that I have delivered my message I have nothing else keeping me alive." He grimaced, expecting the full weight of justice to bear down on him.
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Kakita Sojiro
Crane Clan Global Mod
When you die, will you be remembered, or will you be just another strand in the tapestry?
Posts: 900
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Post by Kakita Sojiro on Jan 8, 2012 22:10:23 GMT -5
Sojiro listened to the boy's story with a growing sense of dread. His experiences left him with no doubt, given the details in the story, that whoever this murderer was, he had turned the tailor into an undead servant of some kind. Just the fact that she was able to restrain a magistrate by herself was odd enough, but her pursuit of the boy afterwards left no doubt in his mind.
His face turned grey as flashbacks flooded through his mind - fire, the fight with the maho-tsukai and his undead minions, the oni.... and her body, dead, with a hole burned through her throat.
He closed his eyes...
Be in the moment. Be present in Now. The past is beyond your touch, the future is not here yet and likewise can not be touched, except by the Now.[/color]
Is this how you center? By destroying yourself? Is this serving your family, your clan, or the son of heaven? Is this serving the Dragon clan dying at Swift Sword, or your clansmen dying at the hands of that bastard Alesha?"[/color]
Words remembered. His father's first, and then his cousin's, the night his sanity had slipped in Kyuden Doji.
No. I am not doing this. Not here. Not now.[/color]
He took a deep breath. Color slowly returned to his face as he fought the visions back.
"Haru, was it? Please, stand up."
"It's true that under normal circumstances, what you have done here would be a serious crime. But," he glanced at Mai as he spoke, "while I am not an Utaku and do not claim to understand their steeds the way that they do, I have spent a fair amount of time around them. Enough for me to think that, if this horse didn't want you riding him, he would have thrown you off before you had the chance to even climb on all the way. In my opinion, he obviously found it worthwhile to carry you this far, samurai or not. Added to this, is the fact that you knew the penalty for wearing these clothes and riding this horse, and yet you chose to face that fate to complete your duty. That is dedication to your duty that would make any samurai proud - willingly risking death to do what has been asked of you. This is just the opinion of one Crane, but.... I don't know your family's rank, but in this instance, you behaved with the heart of a samurai, and I think that should be taken into consideration. Bravery isn't the lack of fear, it is the act of feeling that fear, facing it, and doing what you need to do regardless. I think you are a very brave boy, Haru-san." He emphasizes the 'san' slightly, to make sure the boy got the point.
He looked to Mai. "I know you have to leave. When do you wish to depart?" There was a lot more in Sojiro's eyes than those simple words.
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Utaku Mai
Unicorn Clan
*Battle Maiden* *Paragon of Honor* *Goddamn Rockstar*
Posts: 484
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Post by Utaku Mai on Jan 8, 2012 22:33:39 GMT -5
The boy seemed to perk up at Sojiro's kind words, but looked to the Utaku for her final decision, knowing it was hers and hers alone.
And Utaku Mai said nothing for a very long moment.
"Haru," she said quietly, addressing him by name for the first time, "do you know about the founder of our clan, the kami Shinjo?"
Haru looked up at the samurai-ko with fear written on his face, but after a moment he managed a small nod.
"Very good, Haru.You have probably been taught, then, that Shinjo was a benevolent and compassionate leader to her people, because in the unicorn clan's wanderings through the Burning Sands, She recognized the value of each individual person in ensuring the future strength of the clan."
Another nod.
"Such is the case now. Your crime is very great, and the justice of the Utaku must be served..." she saw the tears start up again, but Mai pressed on, fighting to keep her own emotions in check, "...in due course. Like Shinjo in the desert wilderness, I need you, Haru. If I carried out my justice now, I would have no one to do what must be done to ensure the safety of the people of Bikami and Kibukito."
"So here is what you will do, Haru of Bikami. You will go up to the castle immediately and get some fresh clothes and provisions from the heimin there." She pulls out her sheathed wakazashi, the match to the katana made for her gempukku. "Take this, so they will know you do this in my name. I will arrange for travel papers for you so you can travel unhindered on the fastest roads.
You will return to the unicorn army, and tell the remnants of the Bikami battalion they must leave the battle and return home for the winter to fight this enemy threatening their families. Again, take my wakazashi as a symbol of my will in this matter. Tell them..." Mai looked at Sojiro while she spoke, trying to explain without words, her eyes full of sorrow, "...tell them that I will be meeting them there. I will be traveling straight to Bikami, to investigate this matter personally, and lead the expedition to stop this madman, should it prove necessary. When you and the men arrive at Bikami, and Sanzo is safely quartered, then I will mete out my justice. Is that clear, Haru? Can you do this for me? For your family in Bikami?
The boy who had gone through so much, who had paid such a high cost, bowed low at this new, final task placed before him. "Hai, samurai-sama!" He looked at the tall steed, who had wandered off with Ren momentarily, and gave Mai a questioning look. After giving him an approving nod, he mounts the horse and makes his way toward the castle, leaving Mai and Sojiro once again alone in the field.
Only when the boy was out of sight did Mai kneel down in the snow, exhausted, and begin to weep.
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Kakita Sojiro
Crane Clan Global Mod
When you die, will you be remembered, or will you be just another strand in the tapestry?
Posts: 900
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Post by Kakita Sojiro on Jan 9, 2012 0:41:29 GMT -5
Sojiro was at Mai's side in an instant. He knelt down beside her, brushed her hair out of her face, pulled her close, and held her as she sobbed. He didn't say anything for a long time - he just didn't have the words - but eventually he found his voice.
"I understand why you have to go. Duty to your people aside, I don't think the fortunes could have sent a clearer sign to you than your mother's stallion carrying a strange boy to you, halfway across the empire."
Once she had calmed down a bit, he stood and offered her his arm so that she could do the same. His face was a maelstrom of emotions, but the one that was clearest was the one Mai had never seen on his face before - fear.
He was doing his best to hide it and to be strong for her, but Sojiro was scared.
"How long until.... how long do we have?"
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Utaku Mai
Unicorn Clan
*Battle Maiden* *Paragon of Honor* *Goddamn Rockstar*
Posts: 484
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Post by Utaku Mai on Jan 9, 2012 12:56:07 GMT -5
Utterly spent and empty, Mai looked into Sojiro's eyes, surprised to see him displaying such a raw emotion as fear. She wanted to do or say something that would help, to embrace him, to kiss him, anything. But Mai was afraid herself, afraid that if she fell into his arms she would never leave, and would abandon her responsibility to her own people for her own selfish gratification.
"I shouldn't tarry," she whispered, "I have a few things at the castle...like my armor. And I need to see about those travel papers...and my fine clothes, they'll only slow me down...they can be sent along later...I should try to cross the border before nightfall, I just need some time to make arrangements..." She couldn't focus on one thing, the urge to just get on Ren now and leave was overpowering, but she knew it couldn't just be that simple.
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